My Funny Tommy

 Thomas found the box of baking soda and enjoyed some playtime with it.  The next day he dumped the whole box on the floor.  That was kind of an adventure to clean up.

Halloween Costumes 2012

 Tommy the little kitty

 Ashley as Rapunzel (aka Tangled)

 Beautiful and functional!

 Isabelle the zombie

Ryan the Grim Reaper

I don't love the scary costumes.  I wish my big kids would go for something fun or funny instead of creepy.  This was Ryan's last year for trick or treating.  He wasn't delighted to reach this milestone, but we'll try to make next year fun for him as well!

Life update 11-18-12

November 18, 2012

I should be 12 weeks pregnant today.  But I’m not.  Wednesday we found there is no heartbeat to our little one.  I wasn’t surprised.  I’ve been worried about this pregnancy since about 6 ½ weeks.  I wasn’t having any symptoms and was worried.  After having my HCG and progesterone tested I was told that both were low and I was put on progesterone shots – which incidentally are a literal pain in the bottom.  After doing shots for nearly three weeks I stopped and was supposed to get tested but I didn’t get tested for about another week.  My progesterone was still low and I went back on the shots.  At week 6 –ish and nearly 8 I had ultrasounds.  Both showed a heart beat.  This week the ultrasound showed there was no heartbeat and the baby was only measuring 8 weeks.  So, it passed away just after the last ultrasound. 

I’m sad but I’m calm, I feel like I was prepared.  I’m disappointed that I have to begin again and I’m uncertain exactly what path we need to take.  I was on my medication for PCOS when I got pregnant but we weren’t consulting with our fertility doctor.  I’m frustrated to feel like we have to go back to the doctor again even though we were able to conceive on our own.  Frustrating.

In two days I am scheduled to have a D&C unless my body realizes the baby is not living and moves things forward on its own.  I wish I wasn't nervous.  It’s ok.  I just am. 

I’ve grieved some.  I’m calm now.  I’ll probably grieve more.  I’m very thankful for my little family.  I’m thankful for four miraculous children. 

Ironically, my dad got hives every time my mom told him she was pregnant (after the first), however I currently have hives for no reason that I can find other than the baby. 

I’m tired. I have a headache.  Tommy napped late and is awake still.  I’m a little discouraged.  However, I have much to be thankful for and as a wise man once told me:  This too shall pass.

I’m thankful to live and learn, to feel joy and pain, to laugh and cry, to love and be loved and to lose those that we love knowing that this life isn’t the end. 

I sang a song today in church.  It is called “Jesus is My Shepherd”.  It is beautiful, simple and sweet. 

Jesus is my Shepherd, I’m his precious lamb.

Tenderly he guides me with a gentle hand.

Calm are waters where he leads.

Green are pastures where he feeds me.

Jesus is my Shepherd.  He loves me.

Jesus is my Shepherd, Jesus knows my name.

For his sheep are numbered; each he loves the same.

If my tiny feet should roam he would seek to bring me home.

Jesus is my Shepherd. He loves me.  He loves me.

I’m very thankful.

Ashley and Marin

Izzy again took the camera and came back with these gems.  I have two adorable daughters (and an adorable neighbor, Marin).

Izzy's photoshoot with Elk Antlers

Apparently Izzy took the camera and the elk antlers and gathered the neighbors for a photoshoot.  She is a funny and delightful girl.

 Hannah and Marin

 Dalin and Hannah

 Hannah and Conner

 Conner

 Conner

Micah

Ashley

Ashley was going to go play at Micah's house.  Right when we got the go ahead Izzy turned on music so Ashley said, "I'll go in a minute, cuz I'm dancing.  'Cept it'll be a long minute."

That girl and her dancing.

First Day of School

 Ryan in 6th Grade - Teacher : Mrs. Spadafora - somewhat excited

 Isabelle in 3rd grade - Teacher: Mrs. Ahlstrom - super excited

Ashley and Izzy waiting at the bus stop.  Ashley: mad I wouldn't let her walk to the bus stop without me.
Over all the day went well and the school year has been fairly positive.  We put the children on different schedules hoping that it would help me to help them get things done.  The result has been positive for Ryan's work and positive for Izzy's attitude (work, not so much).  Not sure what I'll have Izzy do next year.  She does well having a bit more time to wake up but doesn't like to get jobs done before school, so we'll see.