Another Birthmother Discussion

Ryan and I had a very tender discussion tonight that was prompted by our FHE activity. We were tying a quilt for Isabelle's birthmother who is expecting a baby in January (which prompted the previous birthmother discussion that I recorded in another post).
We see Isabelle's birthmother quite often and she is very much a beloved part of all of our lives. Tonight Ryan quesitioned again (he has asked this a couple of times over the years, but never has the answer prompted such feelings for him) when he will get to see his birthmother again.
Background info: when we got Ryan the policy at our agency was more closed. We didn't share identifying information and the plan was to write and send pictures the first year and then once a year after. At the time that felt very comfortable for us but when we started meeting with Isabelle's birthmother and had such positive experiences I have had a greater desire to have at least some contact with Ryan's birthmother. In my annual letters I have said that we are willing to do more than the annual letter but we haven't heard from her since he was sealed to us when he was 6 mo. old.
So, this is what happened tonight:
I told him that he would see her again someday but I didn't know when. Then I told him that just because we don't see her doesn't mean she doesn't love him just as much as Isabelle's birthmother loves her.
I talked about how difficult her decision was and how much she loved him and that in order for her to be able to heal and be happy and to believe that he would do the same was to say goodbye.
He began to cry and told me that he missed her. (Although I have anticipated a discussion like this since we began our adoption journey years ago, it still caught me off guard.)
I snuggled him in my arms and told him that she was so brave and that she did exactly what Heavenly Father wanted her to do and that she loves him so much. Then Scott and I both told him again that he is such a treasure to us and that we are so very blessed to be his parents.
We talked about the Holy Ghost and how he learned at his baptism that one of the things the Holy Ghost does is comfort us. He agreed to pray for the Holy Ghost to help him feel better then he went up to his room for a break. After a few minutes Scott went up to be with him where more tears were shed. Ryan has always had a very tender heart which I am very thankful for. He came back ready to tie the quilt and was mostly back to himself for the rest of the evening.
Later as he was snuggling in bed he said he was sorry for crying - which of course made my heart break a little more. I told him that there was no reason for him to be sorry, that it was okay for him to be sad, but to remember that he is exactly where he is supposed to be with exactly who he is supposed to be with. I told him I loved him and he snuggled up and said, "I love you mom."

Why do I think moments like this (while very tender and private) are important to be shared? Because I feel very strongly that my family is a miracle and that maybe because I'm willing to share my treasured feelings about it there may be another family who is blessed with a similar miracle. I also believe in to my very core that my children are mine and that they have a very special, miraculous birth story that needs to be told.
And just in case you are wondering, there is no sorrow for me that he feels this way, because I feel the same way. I love her, I'm thankful for her, I miss her too. She is such an example of faith, love and courage and I want Ryan to love her and be thankful for her.
So, as I write through my own tears, I say again, "I thank Heavenly Father for birthmothers and I pray every day that he will bless and strengthen them for the immense sacrifice that they made that brings joy to so many."

I found my toes!

Ashley has found something new to play with. She loves it when I change her diaper. Those toes go right in her mouth! Then of course if I pull out the camera she has to stop and stare. As the following video shows. She is so cute!

A few more pictures.

Fall Break

I love having my kids home from school! We stayed home and had a great time! Wednesday we played hookie from karate and played all afternoon. Thursday morning we headed up to the Children's Museum at the Gateway. I expected it to be busy but it wasn't and we had a marvelous time. We took my sis-in-law Kristen and her son Jack with us. Jack kept us entertained the whole time with his grown-up conversation. The rest of the day was played away until nighttime when we had a movie night. The kids got to see The Princess Bride (with some editing) for the first time. I tell you what, I had just as much fun watching it as they did. It was hilarious though, Ryan was acting just like the boy in the movie. When I told him the name of the movie he moaned and groaned, so I just quoted the Grandpa and he decided he'd check it out. He then made me laugh the next day when he was telling a neighbor friend about it he had to do the same explanation so that no one would think he was watching a girlie movie. So funny.
Friday Kristen took Ryan and Izzy's pictures (in lieu of school pictures) in the morning at the park (which they took advantage of). Then after a long nap by Ashley we went to Color Me Mine where the kids painted their own ceramics. They loved it! (It's more pricey than I like though.)
That night I got a date (hooray) to play volleyball which was great fun although I was super sore the next day.
Saturday we worked in the yard and played and played.
It's been a great weekend. I'm sad to see it end!

Ashley laughing

Help!

Let's say hypothetically that I have an ultra-bossy daughter whose friends lose interest in playing with her pretty quickly because she wants to tell them how to play. How would I rectify that hypothetical situation before she gets older and it's harder to make friends much less keep them?
Any ideas?
sidenote: the same character traits that make her bossy also help her to be very independent and sometimes incredibly helpful. So I guess what I'm hoping for is to help her create a strength rather than a weakness.

FHE S'mores

We had a couple of friends over for S'mores on Monday night as a final hurrah to summer. The evening was really nice and the kids thoroughly enjoyed each other. I can't believe it took us all summer to finally do this!




sidenote: I'm giggling when I look at the picture of me and Scott because anytime I take a picture of myself I manage to have a double chin. This time I overcorrected. Oh well, at least there is no double chin!
another sidenote: Notice how Izzy is grabbing Jonah's arm. Ryan told me today that she was chasing him and trying to kiss him. Appparently we are going to have to have another chat like the one we had before school started. She's way to young for kissing!!

Hooray!

Someone slept through the night last night and it wasn't me...

This beautiful girl slept from 8:30 to almost 7!!!!! Wahoo! (I should really be knocking on wood right now.)